When you open the lid there’s all sorts of craziness inside. Ideas. Inspiration. Sewing scraps. Art mess.
It’s a collection of sorts. Memories. Faces. Smiles. Hugs. Hurts.
Much of the time I live with the lid off, freely sharing, loving, living. Then sometimes (like today) I close up and retreat.
There are some emotions I don’t like feeling, let alone sharing with the world. Fear. Frailty. Pain. Loneliness.
So hanging out in my box today, listening to some Adele and Mumford and Sons, enjoying being alone, I hid from the world. I concentrated on simple joys. Drinking tea. Doing a new puzzle. Listening to good music. Taking a hot shower (after not having water for a couple days).
You see my box isn’t very big, so I couldn’t ignore the rising anxiety for long. I sat down in my messy room with my guitar and tried to play my favorite song. It ended up being me wailing on the strings, with very little singing.
Then I decided to let God into the box, and trust. Of course God is probably holding my box, so I don’t have to worry anyway. Doesn’t seem to stop me.
But there’s probably room in my box for some things only God can breathe into me. Hope. Trust. Faith.