Box-like

Sometimes I’m like a little box. Small. Cute. Happy.

When you open the lid there’s all sorts of craziness inside. Ideas. Inspiration. Sewing scraps. Art mess.

It’s a collection of sorts. Memories. Faces. Smiles. Hugs. Hurts.

Much of the time I live with the lid off, freely sharing, loving, living. Then sometimes (like today) I close up and retreat.

There are some emotions I don’t like feeling, let alone sharing with the world. Fear. Frailty. Pain. Loneliness.

So hanging out in my box today, listening to some Adele and Mumford and Sons, enjoying being alone, I hid from the world. I concentrated on simple joys. Drinking tea. Doing a new puzzle. Listening to good music. Taking a hot shower (after not having water for a couple days).

You see my box isn’t very big, so I couldn’t ignore the rising anxiety for long. I sat down in my messy room with my guitar and tried to play my favorite song. It ended up being me wailing on the strings, with very little singing.

Then I decided to let God into the box, and trust. Of course God is probably holding my box, so I don’t have to worry anyway. Doesn’t seem to stop me.

But there’s probably room in my box for some things only God can breathe into me. Hope. Trust. Faith.

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