A selfless pursuit

Trying to throw a dart at a blurry target makes aiming difficult. When it comes to people, and loving them in their ridiculousness, quirks, imperfection, I find myself in a similar situation.

It’s easy to get stuck in what I want. In fact, it’s quite difficult to undo layers of selfishness, protection, residue to get to any kind of selfless love. I try, but my aim only goes so far when I can’t even define what such a love looks like.

Each failed attempt brings an awareness of how deeply steeped I am in myself. So much time with my eyes turned inward makes them useless to any other pursuit.

I try out different throwing techniques now and again. Sometimes I get closer than others. But the reality is, my focus has to change. I have to unlearn living just for me, and start learning to see others. To know them. Love them. To pursue those blurry dots until something makes sense. And if it never does, to try anyway.

Ironic that the less it is about me, the more whole I become. In the journey of failing, love happens. When I give up throwing the dart perfectly, I might actually hit something.

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