Growing new eyes

Perspective is a funny thing. Especially when it comes to difficulties. Take stress for example. I get stressed out about all sorts of things. Sometimes my busyness to time ratio tips heavily to the left and I find myself carrying what seems like the weight of the world. It might as well be. A little panic anxiety sneaks into the core of my stomach and moves it’s way up into a nauseating tug at the back of my throat.

I try to make lists to get the tangled overabundance of thoughts out of my head, but looking at them on paper just makes it worse. The words seem to grow on the paper, getting bigger and bigger. All the happy of the present fades as stress comes center stage.

And it happens so quickly, so effortlessly. One minute I’m enjoying life and the next I want to pull my hair out. One second it’s big picture looking and the next I’ve zoomed in so far I can see the blades of grass like they’re giants. Maybe there’s even a truck thrown in there. A huge red truck.

Right before my body spins off into all out panic, sometimes I catch myself. I take a step back and try to breath. Remember the things that are good. Remember that it’s just stuff, and it’ll get done. Remember that God is good. Remember that stress does not run my life.

And the truck starts to get a little smaller. I move my eyes from the anxiety to God, thankful for the life God’s given. My being re-learns how to breath again. I can feel the stress melting off of me, running out of my body. It’s replaced with a gentle stirring peace.

I look back at the picture and the truck is just a toy. The grass is just green and small. The sun is shining and I can return to my list, but now it’s just a list. Not the world to carry.

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