Day 5: I’m a rusher #31daysofTRUTH

I’m a rusher. A rusher of happy things. A rusher into what I hope are happier things. A rusher out of sad feels. A rusher out of anxious feels. A rusher out of pain.

The problem is, generally when I’m “rushing”, I get a kind of tunnel vision, and suddenly all I can think about is whatever it is I’m excited about or think will be the next great thing in my life.

Also, I tend to be more of a butt during these periods.

For example, just this evening I was rush rush rushing my way into a giant project only to realize that I was going TOO FAST when someone I care about was getting stressed from my excited anxious vibes/race car fumes.

IT IS THE NAME OF MY BLOG

Developing Brakes.

I suck at this.

In other news, I’m trying to slow it on down and remember my body. Remember the people around me. Remember to breathe and find happiness alongside the pain.

Oh and also I’m trying to remember to apologize for being previously mentioned butt.

This isn’t a race. There isn’t a finish line. I don’t need to rush.

Today I noticed that I was escaping into my head a lot, and getting lost in my thoughts while avoiding the present moment. I’m trying to take a deep breath each time I notice this, and relax my shoulders.

One of my intentions for 2017 is to remember that there is always grace to begin again.

Deep breaths. Slowing down. Begin again.

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